Reflections of a Midwife Part Six

Being as I couldn’t make a real difference in the Government Hospital in Antigua and because there were so many babies dying (unnecessarily), I decided that these babies were going to be given the proper funerals they deserved, so I approached the two Funeral Directors on the island and one was willing to help me.    

I also wanted to support the mother’s (and fathers) who had lost their babies, instead of them being told off for “allowing their babies to die”  amongst other nastiness …..

It was at this time that I approached National Sands in the UK and was given permission to set up “Sands Antigua and Barbuda ” This has never been done before by a midwife as Sands is always parent led support so it was a real privilege.

Along with a couple of other English ladies we held monthly support meetings / took photos / handprints / footprints / locks of hair to create memories and I ran a helpline and visited families at home too.  I also wrote a series of articles for the local newspaper to raise awareness.

The funeral directors provided a simple coffin and grave side funeral service for us, so babies were now buried with the dignity they deserved and parents had a place to visit and grieve. There was a local belief that babies didn’t have a soul until they were one year old.

Now sitting on the Board of ISA, I lectured in South Africa / Vietnam / Amsterdam / UK / Norway helping midwives to improve the care to parents around the world  and I put in a bid to hold the next Conference in Antigua ….. and I won the bid. Organising and Hosting this Conference has to go down as my proudest moment and it was opened by one of my moms Natasha  reading her story to all the professionals. What an amazing woman!

The Conference was attended by 140 delegates from 19 Countries around the world and a a result Sands was set up on five more Caribbean islands. And this was despite all the totally unnecessary blocks put in my way by everyone and everything  At one point I was told to stop…or else.

Where there is a will there is a way and to this day, although I don’t work as a Bereavement Midwife anymore, Sands is very close to my heart.