Now I move to Good Hope as a Community Midwife. The job was advertised as Heartlands, but I was offered Four Oaks, which I had never wanted to work in before because of the “conflict of interest” of doing my classes in an area I worked in.
I had stayed well away on purpose. I accepted it knowing I would never morally tell my pregnant patients about my classes as some things are just wrong and not to be done
I was there for two years, and once again I found it difficult to settle at first ….is there anything I don’t find difficult? Lol
Coming from the inner city to an affluent area presented me with challenges I had never had before and I had to adapt. In other words I had to calm myself down. The team I joined was a long established family. They had worked together for 20-30 years so I felt quite vulnerable if I’m honest in the beginning and worried they would accept me.I reduced my hours at the beginning of the second year as I was getting old and more tired juggling everything …(my boys say my favourite phrase is “I’m knackered”) lol. The “on calls” took their toll more. If I was called out to a home birth at night, it took me a week to recover.
I love midwifery and adore being a midwife. It is who I am, but I struggled with the ever increasing paperwork / targets / apps / laptops and so on, which as much as I know things have to change and will always change, I still can’t help but think about how great it was just “to be” with your moms back in the day. So after two years …..once again I had reached breaking point and decided to hand my notice in.
I will never forget my last day there….it was late December, dark and pouring with rain
I had the most horrendously busy clinic and left late on my own without a goodbye / good luck from anyone It was awfu. I got home to an empty flat and cried my eyes out …….. was this what 33 years in the NHS meant? Did anyone even care I had gone?
I will never forget Mel who popped in to help me for an hour that day and brought me flowers. I had never worked with her before, but her kindness will remain with me forever.
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